Check In. Speak Up. Save a Life.

September 9, 2025

“How Ya Doin’, Darlin’?”

Four words that might sound simple, but coming from Jared, they carried so much love. This was Jared’s signature greeting—a phrase he used with me and so many of the women he loved. Jared was a great friend, always curious, always asking questions, always making others feel seen. I’ve often heard it said that sometimes the loudest, most animated, most loving people are the very ones fighting the darkest battles. And it makes me wonder: what happens when the people who are always checking in on others need someone to check in on them?

Even the Strong Need Support

That question became painfully real for my family. On February 3, 2023, we lost my brother-in-law, Jared, to suicide. While his life ended far too soon, his legacy reminds me daily of the importance of checking in on one another. If you’re wondering where to start, Mindspring Mental Health Alliance offers a variety of resources, including critical situation cards that outline warning signs for suicide and suggestions for how to approach someone in need. September is Suicide Prevention Month, a time not only to raise awareness but also to share encouragement: support for those who are struggling silently, and reassurance for families who want to help support a loved one but don’t always know how. Mental health challenges can be overwhelming, but none of us have to walk through them alone.

A Call to Action

According to the CDC, suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the U.S. In Iowa, it is the 2nd leading cause of death for people ages 15–34. These aren’t just numbers—they represent real people, families, and communities forever changed. While the statistics are heartbreaking, they also serve as a call to action. Each of us has the power to be part of the change: to raise awareness, to check in with those around us, and to build a culture where mental health support is seen as just as important as physical health care.

What I’ve learned is that conversations matter. A simple check-in, a question asked with care, or an offer to walk alongside someone can open the door to healing. Sometimes the bravest step we can take is reaching out—to ask for help, or to remind someone else that support is available.

Mindspring: Support You Can Trust

I’m proud to be part of Mindspring, an organization dedicated to providing free education, resources, and support for individuals and families. Whether it’s learning to recognize warning signs, connecting with someone who’s experienced a similar situation, or finding tools to manage stress, Mindspring’s programs help turn awareness into action and struggle into strength. The most important part? Mindspring’s resources can be accessed anonymously, so if you want to quietly explore what help looks like, you can do so privately, without judgement or pressure. And that’s one of the reasons I believe so strongly in their work.

Honoring Jared's Legacy

In addition, our family has partnered with Mindspring as a Suicide Prevention Partner. In conjunction with the annual Mindspring Golf Tournament, this sponsorship helps spread awareness and resources to businesses across Iowa, furthering the mission of supporting mental health and reducing stigma.

This month, I challenge you to honor Jared’s legacy with me by asking a simple but powerful question: “How ya doin’, darlin’?” Check in with a friend, a coworker, or a loved one. Those words may be exactly what someone needs to hear. Help is available. Support is real. And together, we can remind one another that no one has to walk this journey alone.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Emily Arends
Board Member

Emily Arends is a Marketing Director at Innovative Captive Strategies (ICS), a subsidiary of Holmes Murphy. Emily became involved with Mindspring in 2024 following the loss of her brother-in-law to suicide, a tragedy that deepened her commitment to mental health awareness. Driven by a passion for understanding mental health challenges and promoting available resources, Emily channels her grief into advocacy, hoping to help end the stigma around mental health and bring hope to those in need.